What I Refused to Compromise On
What I Refused to Compromise On
If there’s one thing I refused to compromise on while writing Mirror Me, it was this:
This is a story about a Black family.
The racial tension they experience is real, and it was important to me to write about it honestly. But it was equally important that this family not become another stereotype.
When I was growing up, I lived in two very different worlds.
On one side was Roosevelt, where we spoke with more slang, carried ourselves differently, and blended into the neighborhood around us.
On the other side was Westbury, where my grandmother expected us to speak proper English, value education, and know how to carry ourselves in predominantly white spaces. She wasn’t trying to make us less Black. She was preparing us to survive in a world that often judged us before we ever opened our mouths.
My sisters and I learned to code-switch very early.
But that also meant we stood out.
We were called names because we didn’t speak the way some of our classmates did. We didn’t always fit neatly into what people expected Black children to sound like or act like.
That experience stayed with me.
When I started writing Mirror Me, I thought about how many people like me rarely see themselves represented accurately in books, movies, or television.
People who are fully Black, who understand Black culture, but who also learned to navigate predominantly white spaces.
People whose experiences don’t fit neatly into the versions of Black life we’ve seen portrayed for decades.
I wanted the Gaines family to feel like real people.
Each member has a distinct personality. They don’t all speak the same way, react the same way, or see the world through the same lens. They’re proud of who they are, but I wasn’t interested in making them perform Blackness according to someone else’s expectations.
For a long time, media treated Black characters as though they belonged in the same mold. The Black woman was the nanny. The Black man was the butler. Later, different stereotypes replaced those, but they were still stereotypes.
Blackness is not a monolith.
I didn’t attend an HBCU. I wasn’t part of a sorority. My husband wasn’t in a fraternity. Those experiences are part of Black culture, but they aren’t mine, and I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.
I wrote the family I know.
The people I grew up with.
The people who raised me.
It was also important to me that the family be whole.
At one point, I considered making Sam’s mother a single parent. Then I stopped myself.
Why?
Why couldn’t her parents still be married? Why couldn’t they simply be an older couple who had built a life together?
There are enough stories that reinforce the stereotype of absent Black fathers. I didn’t want to contribute to that simply because it was familiar.
I wanted to show a complete family.
Not a perfect family.
A complete one.
And underneath all of this was another decision I’d made about the story.
I refused to center whiteness.
It exists in Mirror Me because it exists in life. Sam navigates racial tension, microaggressions, and assumptions people make about her. Those experiences are part of her world, and I wasn’t going to ignore them.
But Mirror Me isn’t about white people.
It isn’t about explaining racism.
It isn’t about making white readers comfortable.
It’s about a woman who happens to be Black, her family, her history, and the things she discovers about herself.
I wanted readers to know the Gaines family as people first. To recognize their personalities, their relationships, their disagreements, and the love they have for one another.
At the end of the day, that’s what I refused to compromise on.
I wanted this family to be real.
Human.
Not a trope.
Not a stereotype.
Just people…
…who happen to be Black.
Mirror Me Launches February 2026









